Boston Kind of Sucks: Finding a New England Patriots Theme Song


I try to dwell on last year’s Super Bowl as little as possible, but I keep swirling back to one moment before the game even started. Surrounded by New York Giants fans, my local watering hole played a series of jams about New York (there are many great New York songs, if you hadn’t heard) before a bartender took pity on me. “Don’t worry,” the Boston-born bartender said, “I’ve got a song for you too!” Unfortunately, that song turned out to be some turd by the Dropkick Murphys. They might as well have played the Dave Matthews Band to make my homeland’s awfulness apparent. You see, to be from New England is to like terrible music, but I’d like to make an effort to change that.


As far as sports teams and theme songs go, New England teams have to be somewhere near the worst. Though my own preference would be they all play the “Brass Bonanza” forever, I know that’s not the solution. Currently, NFL commercials have a decrepit Steven Tyler and Aerosmith singing some awful original tune for the Patriots. Yes, whether it’s classic rock or indie rock (Passion Pit), there’s something pathetic at the bulk of New England music.

Still, New England still has its share of decent bands. They were among the better hardcore straight edge scenes, competing with Fugazi and company and DC for a minute before getting blown away by the competition. Guru of Gang Starr hails from Boston despite the group mostly repping New York. I shouldn’t have to state how much Mission of Burma rule. Still, I’m left with one band that, at least for New England natives living in places like Brooklyn, give us the logical answer. I’m talking, of course, about the Modern Lovers.

Part of being a good New England band usually means that left the place behind as soon as you could, even trying to hide it. Jonathan Richman, though, did none of that, and it made him even cooler than most of his proto-punk peers. “Roadrunner” is a punk rock love letter to Massachusetts, one that almost makes a perfect theme song for tailgating a Pats game. If you’re in mixed company, though, the disarmingly sincere love letter known as “New England” is the perfect song to play as Tom Brady and company go into battle.

If someone tells you to turn that corny shit off? I don’t know what to tell you, I guess play “More Than a Feeling” or something. Go Pats.

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